Self-Sabotage

I’m still reading Mark’s Gospel with Gerard Kelly’s guidance. Kelly is a founder of The Bless Network, a youth missions agency in Europe. And he writes Bible studies for Scripture Union:

What does it take, we wonder, for a human life truly to reflect the character of God? How can we aspire to the life of goodness, truth and love that God calls us to? The answer is that we must face up to the laziness and narcissism that corrupts our every effort. We must be willing to put to death those aspects of our selves that are destructive to our own lives and those of others. Jesus, incarnate God, has come to show what an obedient human life looks like. He is our supreme example.

I have borrowed some of Kelly’s thoughts and words for this prayer…


Father,

We are made in your image. (Genesis 1:27) That’s encouraging, but can my life come close to reflecting your character? I’m like a seed that’s slow to germinate.

This timeless line from Morning Prayer sums it up:

We have left undone those things which we ought to have done, and we have done those things which we ought not to have done.

St. Paul had a profound understanding of our propensity for self-sabotage:

For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do - this I keep on doing. (Romans 7:18-19)

Lord Christ, help me resist every tendency and habit, any attitude or act that distorts your image.

Holy Spirit, help me to live honorably, serve graciously and love generously. Amen.

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Fuel for faith: DOUBT

I expect some resistance to that title. What fuels your faith? Worship? Study? Service? Nature?

Doubt doesn’t seem like the right answer.

...but consider the Gospel story known as “the healing of a boy with an evil spirit.” (Mark 9:14-32) The child’s father exclaimed to Christ: I believe; help my unbelief! (RSV) I appreciate the paradox.

Gerard Kelly, writing for Scripture Union, contends that our doubts are not an enemy of faith “if we turn them into fuel for prayer.”

I will follow his lead:


Lord Christ,

I sense your grace with my doubts and confusion. You are most likely tolerating some misguided theology, too. I am grateful.

It resonates with me…

…that we read - in the Bible’s very first book - a description of Jacob wrestling with God. (Genesis 32:24-30)

…that the disciples often missed the point of your teaching. (Matthew 15:16)

…that the father who sought your healing touch for his disabled child proclaimed, I do believe, help me overcome my unbelief! (Mark 9:24)

That’s me. Wrestling. Missing the point. Questioning.

But this doubt is fuel for my faith. Praise God for that!

I’m unable to master the Bible. Let the Bible master me.

I can’t seem to advance a tight and tidy apologetic. Let me advance the faith through worship and service, through conduct and character.

Some seekers walk away in frustration. They want a formula or indisputable evidence.

Thank you, Holy Spirit, that my heart and mind are fully engaged by the Kingdom’s mystery. Continue to fuel my faith. Amen.

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Denominations

…you are no longer foreigners and aliens, but fellow citizens with God’s people and members of God’s household, built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, with Christ Jesus himself as the chief cornerstone. (Ephesians 2:19-20)

Paul introduces us to a “truly global faith…where only one category remains: all believers. Across cultures and races, God is building a new family: we are joined together in Christ, and in our multi-colored, many-tongued expressions, the Holy Spirit dwells.”

Gerard Kelly, writing for Scripture Union USA, is Senior Pastor of Crossroads International Church in Amsterdam.

Dear God,

How is it that we divide up into denominations? St. Paul, steeped in the tradition of his own religion and culture learned a better way:

There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.

(Galatians 3:28)

Yet there’s a human inclination to choose sides. I tend to associate with people that look like me, think like me, live like me.

Father, don’t let church become my private club. It should be more like a base camp. A place for supply. A place where an expedition begins - even an adventure!

Lord Christ, you prayed for unity, that we would be one. (John 17:11) No barriers. No boundaries. Help me to find common ground with all believers in your teaching, your example, your presence. Amen.

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